2013

Looking back over 2013 all I can say is it has been an eventful year of my life, and I am grateful for it… for the most part. We haven’t always seen eye to eye, and there have certainly been times when I wished it were much shorter than 365 days, but that was only when I was hurt and upset, struggling and fighting to get ahead of the pain I was feeling; which was a lot of the time it seems… and which really was my own fault once again for having expectations that continually disappointed and making the same mistakes repeatedly.…I have learned that people who betray me and my trust do not in fact deserve to be a part of my life at all…  I discovered cracks in my impenetrable heart that I thought were long healed and hidden…were still quietly bleeding… and I also found forgiveness and love as well. And However, despite my faults I am still here. 2013 was a year full of lessons, some of them repeated until I no longer wanted to re do them ever again. Not in any lifetime. 

I found myself tempted into unexpected adventures, and let my heart lead without plans or itinerary. I had a lot of fun on holidays, danced on bars in the Dominican  late into the Caribbean nights that turned into mornings. let the night time breeze sweep through my dreams falling to sleep to the sounds of the ocean, feasting on pineapple and lattes for breakfast and drank pina coladas for dinner… danced at concerts in the park, and around bonfires on the beach, swam in the beautiful turquoise blue water of my favorite Caribbean seas.. swam with sharks and stingrays….watched sunlight sparkle on the water feeling amazing and carefree. I enjoyed long peaceful hours at the beach, snorkeling and scuba diving. I was fortunate enough to have hiked through the villages, visiting interesting characters and stops along the way. We followed in the footsteps of mythological heroes and climbed many mountains and worshiped at ancient temples.

So 2013, thank you for being the year that turned an unexpected corner, and after a few bumps in the road, took flight towards the previously undreamed. You have been a year that changed my direction by several degrees. I have learned to accept that letting go is often stronger than hanging on, and often an opportunity to discover a new route engraved on the map of my heart, for perhaps a more scenic and fulfilling journey. I appreciate all that this year has given me, even those bits that hurt like fucking hell in the beginning, but are shaping me towards the person I am meant to become. I anticipate the future adventures, and ready for the unwritten chapters waiting to take shape in the year to come. 2014.. I’m ready… I think… please be kind to me.